Believing in the power of humanity.

On one of my restless nights, I had a friend, a relatively new friend; insist I am not as damaged as I think I am, rubbing my back and willing me to calm down and sleep. This got me thinking.  Is it all in my head? Mental illness, they say, is in ones head; but I can’t help but think I have fabricated the symptoms of depression or anxiety, or my super destructive behaviour. Of course,  there it is again, the self-doubt that eats away and tells me I am not good enough, that I am just fabricating the situation in my head to gain sympathy. 

But in reality;  why would I do that? Who would want their friends to see them crying, struggling to breathe and fighting a ridiculous mental battle? Sometimes, it is necessary, but for me, it happens way too often.

Maybe thats the reality, im screaming out for help but can’t see the symptoms within myself, maybe thats it, my subconscious trigger. 

I wish I could work it out, it is crippling me.

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One thought on “Believing in the power of humanity.”

  1. Hello ☺ We all have past hurts from our childhood that we are dealing with. Some people bury them deep and struggle on, some people lash out at others, and some people hurt themselves by getting anxious and depressed. I can’t stress enough the benefits of getting some counselling to address this. It might seem expensive (would be about £40 an hour in the uk) but there are charities that offer free counselling. I was very unhappy in my 20s & 30s and didn’t sort myself out till my 40s and I wish I’d done it sooner. There is help, there is peace and happiness for you. Good luck. Amy

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