On Anxiety.

I am very well known for self-diagnosing. I did have it once, Anxiety, and remnants still remain. It has this funny way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it, for me, always, when it is going to be the most damaging or incredibly inconvenient, when I am at the gym, at work, or out on the town. Unfortunately, all of these have happened. Today really got to me. The pressure of my job, the pressure that I am just not good enough, not skinny enough, not healthy enough. In my panicky, tears falling out of my face mode, I realized that all it takes is someone to calm me down. Someone, with a little understanding, someone that knows how it feels, to tell you everything will be ok. This is what I struggle with. It helps, when someone can grab my shoulders and comfort me, bring me back to earth when I am definitely not here. On a day that challenged my will in many ways, I need to thank my manager, for today, being that person, whether she understood or not, whether she knew HOW MUCH I appreciated it, and needed it, or not. With all the right indicators to go completely off the rails, she pulled me in, and brought me back to the person I normally am. Rarely, people understand how desperately I appreciate their help when I am mid anxiety, and may even not want it at the time. I hope they can start to understand that I don’t do it because I want to, I don’t think; but someone being able to bring me back, is everything to me. 

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5 thoughts on “On Anxiety.”

  1. I think I know what you mean. Having someone to bring you back to yourself from that horror-full place is precious. I hope we both meet plenty of these people in the future!

  2. I’ve been in your shoes before. It’s rare to find someone to bring you back to true self and reality. But sometimes they are right in front us and we tend to overlook it. I think the day your manager reached out to help you shows that she is someone who is there you and will understand and may have not seen that coming. I am sending positive vibes your way 🙂

  3. When you feel the anxiety coming, watch it but don’t judge. Observe what is happening without doing anything. This is at first hard to do because your mind wants to control you. But keep at it. Know that what you feel is energy moving through your body, so you allow it to move freely. If you can’t allow it to happen, that’s okay too. Don’t fight it. Maybe next time it will happen. What’s important is that you become aware of what is happening inside you. You are surrounded by all the love and help that you need. Always. Namaste.

    1. This is some incredibly good advice, thank you. I have been struggling with this for a long time, trying not to fight it, but sometimes you have to, for example, while at work and an attack is not appropriate. Thankyou.

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